Marooned On An Island Of My Own House: What Dog Are You?
/Hello everyone!
You know what they say:* it takes a village to raise a child and apparently it also takes enforced nationwide isolation for me to write a new blog post.
Here’s something else I wrote this week: it’s a quiz that tells you what kind of dog you would be based on what you’re doing during the Covid-19 lockdown! My life and work are full of value. To think I used to worry about whether or not I would leave a literary legacy. Wow. Wow-ee.
Anyway, I’m a Labrador, what are you?
DON’T WORRY, I’LL WAIT.
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*Here’s a fun thing you can do: wait until someone says ‘Well, you know what they say,’ then interject with something that is a well-known saying, but is not the well-known saying the person was thinking of.
It goes like this:
Rupert, who is about to say ‘those who can’t do, teach’: “Well, you know what they say-”
You: “Jesus is the reason for the season!”
It is a wonderful way to completely derail a conversation.
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Because I’m not allowed to go anywhere, instead of a post about my fascinating adventures in the wide world we are now in some sort of terrible Marooned On An Island Of My Own House Diaries scenario.
The people need entertainment in this time of crisis! Yes I know, not this, you want Netflix. This is what you are getting though.
(Although I can have one more person on my Netflix account so hit me up, first in first swerved- that was a typo but man what a power statement that would be!
FIRST IN FIRST SWERVED, BITCH! I shout as I snatch the last packet of toilet paper and run away.)
YOU GOT SWERVED, BITCH!
WHY DOES SUCH A PERFECT IMAGE FOR THIS EXIST. WHO MADE THIS.
Before we can start the Marooned On An Island Of My Own House Diaries, we must first introduce the cast:
Me
You know me. I am no better or worse than I was last time you saw me.
SJ
You know SJ, he is my boyfriend and also a Labrador (in the quiz, not in real life). Yesterday he said “Yummers” while eating dinner and now I‘m not sure I want to be in quarantine with him any more.
Roland
You know Roland as well, he is a Labrador (in real life, not in the quiz). He has many talents including: snuggling up to you when it is very hot and you’d like him to go away; refusing to cuddle you when you wish to cuddle him; and interrupting conference calls to which he was not invited.
It is a house of Labradors. But alas it is not a peninsula.
YUMMERS.
Anyway now that we have done the introductions that… feels like enough for today.
I am tired from making the what dog are you quiz.
come back for more in: